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TOO MUCH BLOOD! Jefferson’s Metaphorical Tree of Liberty Dies from Over-Watering
The ghost of Jefferson appeared. “By thunder!” he yelled. “I was in the land of the dead and I recognized that tree. How much did you feed it?
Somewhere in the symbolic halls of American mythology, the Tree of Liberty has died. The metaphorical tree has perished from over-watering.
United States Tree Surgeon General Joshua Hilderberger explained.
“The Tree of Liberty doesn’t thrive on water, it lives on blood. Unfortunately, its roots have not been fed a healthy dose of the occasional blood from patriots and tyrants, as Thomas Jefferson advised. It’s been drowned. The poor tree was saturated with the blood of children who didn’t think the gun was loaded, by students just trying to learn math, by macho fools facing off in Wal-mart parking lots, by lunatics freely offered the deadliest firearms, by cruel morons stoked by crueler con-artists, by false patriots determined to defend freedom but becoming its greatest enemy, by wars to support access to petrol for oil companies. And on and on. I could list a million other sources. At this point, it doesn’t matter. The Tree of Liberty is dead.”
