THAT’S YOUR BRO-PINION! Fantasy Football Leagues are “Not At All Like Beauty Pageants” Insist Bros — Now With REAL News

Contestants perform before the judges in tight clothing, showing off their bodies. They do everything they can to catch a judge’s eye and impress. The competition is intense because of all the money on the line. There are coaches for every aspect the contestants need. There’s physical training, mental training, media training, even social media training.

A horde of men, many rich and creepy, observe the human stock. Who among the preening prancing parade would make the best investment?

Selected lucky contestants know it’s a life-changing event. Their family rushes to them. There’s a lot of hugging and crying.

“And that’s why the NFL draft and fantasy leagues are like beauty pageants,” concluded feisty pre-teen, Britney Connors. She put her hands on her hips and tilted her chin for maximum sass, modeling her stance on the wise-cracking younger sister characters required to appear in every comedy show or movie in the entire universe.

“Shut up,” snapped her older brother, Tyler Connors. “Fantasy Football and the NFL draft are nothing at all like a beauty pageant.”

“You got all these hopeful contestants who will do anything to be chosen. They show…