SEAL TEAM SOCKS! Pentagon Deploys Sock Puppet Account Battalion to Social Media to Promote War Against Whateverstan — Now With REAL News

“Cyber-Soldiers! You are the tip of the spear!” shouted the five-star general across the computer lab. Several special forces operators sat before him in rows. Each was seated at a PC terminal equipped with three monitors.

“Your stations come linked to a dozen social media sock-puppet accounts. Details are in the dossier next to your keyboard. We need you to get on social media and promote this war.”

“Sir, yes, sir! Hooah!” shouted the operators, as they began typing furiously. Unknown to the American public, the operation to sway their hearts and minds in support of war with Whateverstan, was underway.

For readers not hip to internet slang, a “sock-puppet” account is a social media profile that pretends to be a real person. Such accounts are used to generate the illusion of popularity or consensus for any idea or product the account owner desires.

“Free the People of Whateverstan!” tweeted one such Twitter account, posing as a liberal arts major in Denver, Colorado. “The People of Whateverstan yearn for freedom!”

The sentiment was echoed by dozens of other newly made accounts representing a diverse cross-section of…