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SCOTUS-IZED! Americans Follow Court’s Lead and Randomly Ignore Prior Agreed-Upon Rules
“Stealing is legal now. You’ve been SCOTUS-IZED!” the thieves called out.
The elementary school soccer match took a shocking turn when one of the players on Coach Karzmarzuski’s team picked up the ball in his hands and hurled it into the goal.
The opposing team’s coach protested — as did the game’s referee, but Karzmarzuski insisted the play was good, and in fact, his squad had just scored four points. He ended his insistence by yelling, “You’ve been SCOTUS-IZED!”
The opposing team and the referee backed down. “Can’t argue with that,” they both said. In the end, Karzmarzuski’s squad won 17–1.
The incident was just one small example of the chaos sweeping the United States. Citizens across the nation were taking their cues from the highest court in the land — the Supreme Court of the US (SCOTUS) — and disregarding all precedent and previously-agreed upon rules (even violating long-standing contracts) to suit their own preferences.
Children’s soccer games just one of the many aspects of life affected. The SCOTUS practice of ignoring established law became the rallying cry to excuse any and all behavior.
