New Business “StripBucks” Combines Lap Dances and Lattes — Now With REAL News

Entrepreneur Hudson Torrance is quick with his sales pitch.

“Steve Jobs was king of the mashup. Take good ideas and mix ’em together. He took the phone, the television, the music player and combined them into the iPhone. I’m doing the same. Gourmet coffee plus sexy bodies equals StripBucks!”

So far, only one StripBucks exists in the Greater Los Angeles area. Torrance claims he is talking to investors seeking franchise opportunities.

“We cater to all tastes,” Torrance said. “All tastes of coffee, all tastes of sexuality. You want iced decaf and a large breasted blonde in a bikini? Done. You want dark roast no whip delivered from a boytoy with chiseled abs wearing a thong? Done! Free wifi, too. Why would you ever leave?”

Early customers gave the place mixed reviews.

Brent Forrester said, “I like it, but it’s hard to draft my screenplay when I see a sweaty ass shaking across the room. Then again, who cares about writing when that’s going on? I’m getting less done, but I don’t feel guilty about it.”

Cassie Hindermann was also positive. “Once I was trying to ‘make it rain’ and I accidentally slapped my hot coffee onto Ramrod’s g-string. Scalded the poor guy all around the danger zone. I felt…