List of Horrifying Side Effects Consumes Over Half the Content of New Drug Ad — Now With REAL News

The team at Diversified Marketing was eager to market-test their ad for a new drug, Zanlaxa™.

“We couldn’t have been prouder. I loved what we produced for our Big Pharma client,” said Diversified CEO, Glenn Haberstove. “Unfortunately, the focus group reviews weren’t great.”

The video advertisement is an industry-standard thirty seconds long. More than half of that running time is taken up by a list of gross and painful possible side effects.

The target demographic focus group began with positive reviews.

“When I hear the made-up word Zanlaxa™ it sounds like a mashup of ‘zen’ and ‘relax.’ I like it,” said one respondent.

That’s where the good news ended.

From another comment card: “What do I remember about the ad? They mentioned ‘bleeding from the eyes’ as a possible side effect. That’s awful. I thought that only happened in horror movies. Now I’m freaked out.”

“Come on,” whined Haberstove. “No one listens to that whisper voice at the end of drug ads. Sure, it’s required by law. But these side effects are possible, not guaranteed.”