LAME BLAME! “Inflation Controls Prices, Not Us!” say Executives Who Control Prices — Now With REAL News

“I’m helpless, powerless, completely without influence,” said the CEO from his penthouse in Abu Dhabi, as a Texan Senator licked his feet clean.

“What do you expect me to do?” asked Jeffrey K. Hingku, CEO of Hingku Advanced Pharmaceuticals, from the bow of his 100-meter yacht. “Prices for medicine are going up due to inflation. Don’t get mad at me.”

Hingku was explaining his helplessness as a second, smaller yacht he owned pulled alongside to refuel his primary vessel.

The lament was repeated by Mahmoud Hashan, CEO of International Energy Consultants, a multinational petroleum company. Hashan was speaking from his penthouse above Abu Dhabi. A sitting U.S. Senator from Texas knelt before him and licked his feet clean.

“I’m powerless. Completely powerless,” said Hashan, “Gas prices rise due to the invisible hand of the market. I have no control whatsoever.”

“Are your blessed feet clean enough, m’lord?” the kneeling Senator asked.

Hashan slapped him. “I did not say you could speak!”