Influencer Cancels Self for Shameful Sin of Spontaneous Laughter — Now With REAL News

Today, social media superstar Zurbonzo left a tearful farewell video message to his many fans.

“Greetings for the last time,” he said. “I’m canceling myself.”

The influencer had amassed at least ten million followers across all platforms. A single mention on his feeds — average price six figures — could make or break any product or event.

In an age of social media star-makers, Zurbonzo was above them all — but no longer. All postings on his feeds are gone except for the farewell video.

“Why am I canceled?” he said. “It’s simple. I overheard a joke. And I laughed.”

The titan of social media continued his public confession between choking sobs.

“I wasn’t thinking. I was with two other people and I overheard one whisper a joke to the other. I dare not share the content of this so-called joke. Know that it was about the traits of others. To my eternal shame, I laughed. Not aloud, but inside my mind. I felt the desire to laugh. And that is enough.”

Voice breaking, Zurbonzo continued.

“A moment of spontaneous joy, and my world has ended.”