Influencer Canceled in Record Time!

The Epic True Tale of How I Became an Amazon Influencer and Was Canceled In the Span of a Week.

Chapter 1: A Delightful Surprise

Congratulations, Amazon Reviewer! You have posted so many reviews and earned so many helpful votes that we are going to promote you to Vine Voices: Silver Tier. What is that? It’s an Amazon program for our best reviewers! You order items that interest you. There’s no cost. Shipping is free. You only need pay taxes on the item as appropriate for your region. In exchange, all we ask is you leave an honest review. You can keep the item.

That’s the summary of an email I received from Amazon’s Community managers. What a delightful surprise! I had seen the “Vine Voice” badge on other reviews but never gave it much thought.

A lot of moral panic has followed the information that most young folks want to be an influencer. ( Source.) I’m not part of that demo, and I don’t care to “influence” — it looks boring, actually — but here I was, suddenly scratching the surface of that realm, simply by accident! Ha! Take that, younglings!

I mostly reviewed books, but also home improvement gadgets. I especially enjoyed sharing tips I learned during the installation process. Other people’s…