DUMB PLAY WAR! Lyricist, Hired to Reboot Les Miz Using Jan 6 Insurrection as Backdrop, Angrily Quits — Now With REAL News

“How the hell do I make such repulsive creatures entertaining?” screamed composer and lyricist Henri P. Reynolds, as he hurled a composition book across his studio.

“The musical Les Misérables had sympathetic characters! The orphan Cosette, whose mother died of a broken heart. Jean Valjean, born into the cycle of poverty. Éponine, suffering from unrequited love. On and on.”

“Now these producers want me to take the January 6 Insurrectionists and make them similarly likeable? Their struggles relatable? How? They were the most vile people American society offers! They claimed they were oppressed, even as they marched unopposed into the Capitol. Some police even moved barricades aside to let them through!”

Reynolds began kicking his piano, continuing his rant.

“The moving songs of Les Miz speak to universal humanity. Values of love and loyalty, the struggle for dignity. I’m supposed to rework those timeless lyrics in support of some clowns who willingly steeped themselves in hateful lies pushed by obvious con-men?”

Reynolds had by now demolished his piano. He dug his cell phone out from the debris and began dialing.