DELICAT-MESSIN’! Violent and Deranged Meth Addict Mistaken for World-Famous Chef — Now With REAL News

“I was stressing,” said Clara Ruffoli, owner of Clara’s Deli. She was describing her nervous anticipation as she waited for the arrival of celebrity chef Jordan Tamzee.

As you likely know, Tamzee is the star of a dozen reality TV shows based on cooking competitions and eatery redesigns. His explosive temper and outrageous behavior has helped him become a world-wide brand.

“I couldn’t believe they chose my place for a Jordan Tamzee makeover,” continued Ruffoli. “On ‘Hospitality Helper,’ too! That’s my favorite of his shows. I was excited but also freaking out. I know how it starts. Tamzee trashes the place, throwing plates, tossing food. Cursing at the staff. All that. The production team told me to expect him on Thursday morning, and I was ready.”

When Thursday morning came, Tamzee arrived. Or so she thought.

“My staff and I, we’re all big fans of Chef Tamzee’s shows. When he came in, he looked a little different, kind of disheveled and unshaven. We thought it’s because people don’t look the same on TV as they do in person. Maybe his makeup wasn’t done yet.”

The person they thought was Tamzee tipped over a table. Silverware scattered and skidded across the floor. He grabbed…