DE-REGULATED! Militia Unable to Form Free Society by Using Threats of Murder to Resolve All Disputes — Now With REAL News

Yesterday, Camp Liberty was a small village in rural Missouri. That changed when residents formed “The Freedom Militia” and declared the town an autonomous zone. Then they announced their secession from the United States.

That’s when the trouble began.

Our reporters were denied entrance to the new nation. We instead asked militiaman Ron Dinster, who was guarding the front gate, how the young republic was faring.

“They say the price of freedom is eternal vigilance, but I’ll be honest with you,” Dinster said. “Eternal vigilance kinda sucks.”

But wasn’t he free?

“Free to do what? I’m always on edge, carrying my firearms everywhere. These guys were my friends, but now I don’t trust anyone. If they want what I have, they might try to take it. I sleep in with my gun’s safety off. How can I enjoy freedom if I’m on alert 24/7?”

Dinster spit in the dirt.

“We thought making a free country would be easy. Run around the woods with your pals. Shoot stuff. Plan mock drills. But once we declared our sovereignty, oh man, things got complicated fast.”