“What a colossal error that we worked this hard to get nothing done and something accidentally got done.” — “This is not our role! This is not what our party is about!” screamed Speaker of the House, Traci Legosi (D-CA) delivering an unusually clear, concise, and coherent message. “In my epoch-spanning career,” she continued, “I have never overseen a blunder this enormous. We are going to launch at least…

Superb Observations about the Spectrum of Beliefs from Clubs to Cults — Like Amanda Montell, I’m fascinated by cults. If a documentary about cults exists, I’ll be watching. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I simply can’t imagine believing the things people in cults believe. …

Another Earth Day approached with consumers blaming manufacturing for their processes and manufacturers blaming consumers for creating demand while the Pacific Garbage Patch laughed. — The human residents of earth prepared to celebrate another Earth Day this week. The yearly holiday is meant to remind humanity of the fragile eco-system that sustains all life. Most preparation centered on assigning blame for the planet’s failing environment on someone else.

“We regret the error that indicated Mr. Grovequist had not paid his bill, when in fact he had, but we are confident that our business escaping any consequences is what he would have wanted.” — Well-known anti-government deregulation lobbyist, Norbert Grovequist was found dead in his home today. Authorities, once given access to the scene, ruled the death an accidental drowning in the bathtub. At a press conference, the local police chief explained how the tragedy unfolded.

Short introduction to Deepfake technology and its impact on our information sources. — Deepfakes is required reading for anyone who cares about being an informed citizen. It’s not a book that’s going to make you feel better about the future. But it will prepare you for the confusing times we live in. This book is short but covers a lot, all centered on…

“I’m helpless, powerless, completely without influence,” said the CEO from his penthouse in Abu Dhabi, as a Texan Senator licked his feet clean. — “What do you expect me to do?” asked Jeffrey K. Hingku, CEO of Hingku Advanced Pharmaceuticals, from the bow of his 100-meter yacht. “Prices for medicine are going up due to inflation. Don’t get mad at me.” Hingku was explaining his helplessness as a second, smaller yacht he owned pulled…

If people want to exploit SEO algorithms for cash, that’s cool. Just don’t expect me to play along. — Before the internet, when there were print and classified ads, legend says that there were enticing ads that simply read, “Send me a dollar and I’ll tell you how to make $100.” …

The New York Times, having invested more money in the game than they did in their Iraq War coverage, was quick to express their regret in a public statement. — Dorks everywhere were saddened today when they tried to solve the popular online puzzle, Wordle™. The five-letter word guessing game had the same solution as the day before, and the day before that. The solution was ‘Allah.’ “Hey that’s weird,” posted one self-described Wordle-addict on the game’s online forum. …

“I sympathize with Ukraine,” said 45-year-old Baghdad single mother, Fatima Hurmabi. “Facing down an empire with an enormous army while the world watches yet does nothing? That is a terrible fate. We Iraqis know.” Hurmabi was referring to the 2003 invasion of Iraq. “I’m glad that in the year 2022…